We’ve all been there: You pick your child up from school and ask the classic question, “How was your day?”
“Good.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing.”
Sound familiar? 😅
It’s not that kids don’t want to tell us about their day. Sometimes, they’re tired, still processing everything that happened, or simply don’t know where to start. After spending hours following directions, navigating friendships, learning new things, and managing big feelings, they may need a little time to decompress before they’re ready to talk.
A few small changes can make those after-school conversations feel much more natural and help your child share more of the little moments that make up their day.
Try More Specific Questions
“Tell me about your day” can feel like a pretty big question!
Instead, try giving your child a specific starting point:
“What made you laugh today?”
“Who did you sit with at lunch?”
“What was the best part of your day?”
“Was anything tricky today?”
“What was something new you learned?”
Specific questions give kids something concrete to think about and can make it easier to get the conversation going.
Talk While You’re Doing Something Together
Sometimes the best conversations happen when we’re not sitting face-to-face asking questions.
Try chatting while:
Driving or walking home
Having an after-school snack
Making dinner
Coloring, building, or playing a game
Side-by-side conversations can feel much less like an interview. When the pressure is off, kids may be more likely to share what’s on their mind.
Share Something About Your Own Day
Conversation is a skill kids learn through practice and through watching us.
Try sharing a small part of your own day:
“Something funny happened at work today…”
“I had a tricky moment today, too.”
“I was really proud of myself for…”
It shows your child that talking about our experiences doesn’t have to be a formal conversation. It can simply be part of everyday life.
Keep It Low-Pressure
And remember: not every child is ready to talk the second they walk through the door.
Some kids need a little quiet time, movement, a snack, or some downtime before they’re ready to reconnect. That’s okay!
Instead of pushing for an answer, you might say:
“Sounds like you need a little break. I’m here when you’re ready to tell me about your day.”
Sometimes giving them that space is exactly what helps them come back later and start talking.
At the End of the Day, It’s About Connection
At the end of the day, we’re not looking for a detailed report of everything that happened at school. We’re creating opportunities for our kids to know that we’re interested, we’re listening, and we’re here for them.
A funny story, a small frustration, a new friendship, or even a quiet “I had a hard day” can all be meaningful openings for connection.
So the next time you hear “Good” after asking about school, don’t worry, you haven’t missed your chance. Try a smaller question, start a conversation while doing something together, or simply give your child some time to reset.
Sometimes the best stories come when we stop asking for them and simply make space for them to happen.
At Creating Connections OT, we’re here to help your child thrive—emotionally, physically, and socially. If this post resonated with you and you're wondering what the next step looks like, our New Client Page has everything you need. From what to expect in your first session to how we support your child’s unique goals, it’s all just a click away.
